Understanding Envy and Social Comparison Theory

Explore how envy affects our mindset in relation to cognitive psychology and social comparison theory. Understand the dangers of constant comparison and how envy can impact mental health. Learn to realize on how to avoid self-sabotaging thoughts and focus on your own journey.

I wish I could be successful like “that person”. I wish I could be pretty like “that person”. I wish I could have the talent like “that person”. I wish I could be athletic like “that person”.

We tend to wish for things through comparing ourselves to “that person”. In today’s society, it has become more common to compare ourselves with others than in the past years. With the influence of social media, comparison has been at its peak.

Sometimes, when someone has achieved more things than what we have, we would ask ourselves, “Why not me?” “What have I done less than that person?” rather than congratulating them for their achievements.

All this, is Envy.

Envy is “the personal pain caused by the desire for the advantages of others” (Burton). Unlike jealousy, I believe that envy goes a lot deeper into our hearts. Envy can be dangerous with the more envyness you have, the more self sabotaging it can be. When we feel envy, we often feel lacking or “less than” the person we’re comparing ourselves to.

In cognitive psychology, Envy is taken as an emotion but also is taken as a way to process information. We would process who we are in relation to others. This is known as the social comparison theory which was proposed by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954. Social comparison states that it is inborn for our brain to judge and evaluate ourselves. It states how we would analyze and figure who we are by comparing ourselves to our surrounding people. The theory introduces two types of social comparison:

Upward comparison.

Comparison that occurs when we compare ourselves to someone who is considered better than me in society. Upward comparison sometimes can make us feel down and low as you evaluate yourself as in a lower status but also brings the effect of thought to improve ourselves.

Downward comparison

Comparison that occurs when we compare ourselves to someone less fortunate and is considered worse. Downward comparison provide us with the feeling of being better-off and allow us to evaluate ourselves in a higher and a more worthy position.

The cruel part is that when someone you used to envy experiences misfortune, we tend to be happier with the cognitive reward center reacting with the misfortune.

With the theory explaining how social comparison is innate, managing envy can not be easy.

Therefore, all I want to say is to not think too deeply in comparing yourself to others. We each have different paths we walk at different speeds. No matter how much you feel like you are not worthy compared to others, do not go in depth with comparison as it can be self sabotaging. The person that you have envy toward might be wanting something that you have.